Kissing Superman

“He looks like Superman! Why didn’t you want to kiss him?” My friend looked at me incredulously. I said, “I just didn’t feel the chemistry.”

He was what some would call perfect: intelligent, great sense of humor, conversation flowed on our dates, and on top of it all, very good looking. What was the problem? I just wasn’t feeling it.

Attraction can be largely based on looks, but there are other factors: how someone carries themselves, how they speak. There’s the dynamic when two people are together and the unspoken sometimes palpable connection felt between two. For some reason, with Mr. Superman, it wasn’t there on my end even though I could tell he was into me. What was wrong with me?! Many women would have been completely happy and totally enamored by him. I was enamored to a certain extent, but more in a friend kind of way.

Chemistry is a feeling of want, desire, lust, and connection. It is a very important factor in who we choose to date and who we choose to be in a relationship with. However, I’ve dated someone where the chemistry was mutual, powerful, and lasting but we weren’t on the same page. Even though the chemistry never died, the relationship did.

Other factors play a significant role in the balance of relationships and there are questions we should ask ourselves. Does this person add to my life? How do I add to theirs? Do I feel completely comfortable with this person? Are they comfortable with me? Do I feel that together as a couple, we can grow? Do we have the same goals for our future together? Are we on the same page?

Everyone has different wants. Everyone has different needs. At the end of the day, chemistry is a vital piece of the dating journey but it is one piece of the sometimes complicated, sometimes messy, but completely worth-it-all picture.

I wish you lasting chemistry with your Superman or Superwoman and fun dating adventures with BrushPass if you’re still on your way to your superhero.

M.B.