The wiser I get, the less and less desperate for a relationship I get. In fact, I would say that at this point, I’m not desperate at all. Of course, I would like to be in a great relationship, but I’ve been able to create an independent, full, and pretty amazing life for myself without any significant other. I’m damn proud of that.
When I was working to try to find the right relationship, I was listening to people’s opinions about me. I’ve been told that I’m intimidating because of my educational and work background, that I should try lying about what I do for a living, that maybe I should consider plastic surgery, etc. etc. As a result, I started to pay attention to books/articles/videos from relationship experts and seek out advice from friends about how to play the game, how to keep a person interested, what to text, how to make him feel like he’s a man and that he’s needed, how to be a woman, how to show someone your value, how to be you. It became exhausting! I felt like I was losing my real self in order to fit the “ideal” and play the game right.
I stopped paying attention to all of that. I’m here, perfectly me. Take me as I am.
I’ve come to the point in my life where I know I have the ability to create a wonderful life for myself regardless of the circumstances and I wake up every damn day and prove that to myself. No one needs anyone else, but as humans we want the comfort and intimacy of a relationship. Need and want however are two completely different things, and I’m definitely in want, not need mode. I live with positive expectation of meeting some amazing person who wants the same things I do, who will add to my life like I add to his, but I’m coming to the point of letting go of the outcome. Just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it never will, but things will work out the way they should and it will be amazing because it already is so.
To all of the singles out there, keep creating a life you love. Keep being you. Focus on all the positive aspects of your life. Don’t wait for anyone else to do what you want: to travel, to explore, to live! Life is short. Live it without regrets. Someday, maybe, while you’re living your amazing life, you’ll round a corner, find someone on your path (maybe even through BrushPass!), and there will be that little click. Until then, as I’ve said before, just keep loving the shit out of your beautiful badass self.
Do you have a great dating or single story? Inspire others and share what you’ve learned. If we publish it, we’ll of course give you credit.